Opening something new is always terrifying and sometimes even painful. Regardless of the fact that quite often we know of the benefits of some new beginning, it is nonetheless a change of usual conditions, therefore a particular stress. As we know, any stress always has an effect on a human being. Negative stress, such as a car accident, death, or simply a bad grade, is stored in our memory. Similarly, positive stress, such as getting into your first-choice university, celebrating a birthday, or buying a new car, is also stuck in our memory and might somewhat influence us. Maybe our whole life consists of different types of stress. Quite likely, negative stress is the one we start our lives with.
Imagine a baby. Suppose he finds himself in a particular space for nine months. The place might be loved or not – regardless, one eventually gets used to it. In that place, the baby has no other choice but to undergo everything his mother experiences, apart from a cramped space, of course. It is impossible to leave the baby in one room and have an argument in another, hide him from danger, or save him from his mother’s fears or frustrations.
Can the baby remember everything that’s ever happened to his mother while he was in a womb? If that’s the case, do our personality and behaviour become nurtured in this unconscious mind? Are there experiences we’ve emotionally undergone in a womb through our mothers that are now shaping who we are? Perhaps, shaping who we are is a bit strong of an assumption, but can those experiences trigger certain reactions or emotions we have as adults?
Imagine how you are lying in your warm, comfortable bed next to your mother, to the person you were physically attached to for nine months. Suddenly there are screaming, panicking, worrying, and all sorts of uncontrolled, possibly negative emotions. You are forcefully pulled out of your bed to a completely different and an unfamiliar world. To the world where your mother might have suffered, where your birth is merely a job for someone, and pray to Lord they at least do it decently. The world where you might not have been expected or even wanted. Yet you are violently brought into this hell.
Summer 2013. Edited September 2018